Marriage has been the intention for man and woman from the beginning. God created Adam, and for the first time, said that something was NOT good. 

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 
-Genesis‬ ‭2‬:‭18‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I had always longed to be a wife. After my grandfather passed away, I didn’t have many positive experiences with males. I just couldn’t find any man that could compete with the level of compassion and integrity that oozed out of my grandfather. I had friends in school who were male and had feelings for guys, but they were never reciprocated. That is until I found my husband on a dating app.

When dating apps became a “normal” part of life in my generation, I stuck my nose up to it saying, “I don’t want to get on those, if God wants me to find the man I am to marry, he will bring him to me.” Oh, how naive I was! After I moved home from college(and still hadn’t found the right man), I decided I would try dating apps out. The conversations (if you can call them that) I had with guys on the apps ultimately let me down. I kept going back and forth on what apps I would use and whether I even wanted them on my phone. Psalm 37:4 was brought to my attention in college, when I was seeking what God wanted for me in my singleness. This is the verse that I clung to for years trusting God would keep his promise.

The app I found my husband on was one I had sworn off because I got burned by someone from that app previously. My sweet friend from college encouraged me to try again on that app. She suggested something another friend of hers had done that led her to her person that way. She told me to make a list of the qualities in a man that I knew deep down that I needed, not just wanted, in the person I was to spend the rest of my life with and to pray over that list each night trusting that somehow I would be united with the man I had only dreamed of. 

God is SO good and responded to my prayers in a MIGHTY way! It wasn’t long after I started praying over that list that I found and messaged the man who was going to be my husband. He messaged me back with what I joke was the perfect response to my question based on his profile which was, “What type of music is your favorite to listen to?” His response lined up perfectly with my music tastes. The genre that meant the most for me was Christian music. We started talking about our faith from the very beginning. Needless to say, the conversation continued on for days. This was right before Christmas, so there were some obstacles to going on a first date. We went out for coffee on New Year’s Eve 2020. I joke and say that I finished off that awful year the RIGHT way!

We dated, spoke to one another constantly through texts, calls, and in-person, of course. If we weren’t sleeping or working, we were talking and getting to know each other more and more. He was checking the boxes off my list very nicely. I was finishing up my masters program when we met. He made it clear that getting my degree and achieving my goals was important to him. We were engaged 4 months into the relationship. Marriage was the end goal. Many told us we were moving fast while others made the common statement, “When you know, you know.” And we did. We knew.

I finished my MSW about 3 months after the proposal, I started my first real job, and we were married about 2 months after that! 2021 was a WHIRLWIND of change filled with so much hope, excitement, and love.

After our wedding, I had many friends tell me how beautiful everything was that day. They highlighted one special detail that I cherish in my memories. They told me that while they were watching my husband throughout the ceremony and evening, they could tell how much he loved me by the way he looked at me. I had one friend say it was “like I was living in a fairy tale!” That is something any girl would love to hear after preparing for one of the most important days of her life. It’s not just the wedding planning for the day itself. If you are doing it right, you’re preparing for marriage. You’re preparing your heart, mind, and soul for a life changing commitment, to become one with your husband. It’s not a one person job either. Sure, you as the bride take care of the color scheme, the decorations, the music, and so on, but you both must prepare for what happens after you get in the getaway car and start your life together as a married couple.

“Happily Ever After…” that’s the dream! The reality? Two human beings just vowed to live “until death do we part” without knowing what lies ahead for their love story. This is why making this covenant before God is so crucial because in that covenant, you are welcoming God into your marriage. I don’t ever want to know what it would be like without God working in us and through us as individuals and as a couple. Do we stray from God’s vision for marriage? Absolutely. Does God call us back to humble ourselves and seek his purpose for our lives. Most definitely.

Our wedding hashtag was #Made4Wade. It makes me smile thinking about how I feel God made it so we would fit together perfectly to advance his Kingdom and be helpers to one another. Being a part of my husband’s family means the world to me. I am accepted and loved as his wife and as a member of the Wade family. It truly is an honor, and I thank God for the blessing. Just as we aren’t meant to be alone, we are meant to live in relationship with God. For our wedding ceremony, we did a “Cord of Three Strands” portion based on Ecclesiastes 4:12. This was our way of committing to keep Jesus at the center of our marriage from the vows onward.

Later in Ecclesiastes, Solomon speaks to husbands about how their wives are a reward. At times, I feel like I may seem like more of a punishment to my husband.

“Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭9‬:‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

There are many Scriptures that teach about how husbands and wives are meant to treat one another. Some are a harder pill to swallow when you’re going through a rough patch than others. Praise God for teaching us forgiveness and giving us grace so we may give it to those we love. See 1 Peter 2:21-23 & 3:1-5; 7 below:

I love my husband, and more importantly, I love Jesus. When I hurt my husband, I am not representing Jesus well. I am so grateful to be a wife to such a loving man. We both strive to be closer to Christ so that we may grow closer to one another. In both Ephesians and Colossians, Paul writes about being humble, gentle and patient with others. Those are sometimes more challenging characteristics to take on than I’d like to admit. My goal is to be like the wife that is spoken highly of in Scripture. For my husband to read Proverbs 18:22 and smile in agreement is what I aim for in marriage. I believe this C.S. Lewis quote sums it up quite perfectly:

Remember how I mentioned preparing for the wedding was more about preparing for marriage than the wedding day itself? Well, we as The Church have the responsibility to prepare for the second coming of Christ. Jesus is coming back to make ALL things new and make ALL right in the eyes of God. We as the Body of Christ are also called his Bride. So, just as I waited to be married to my husband, I must wait to be united with Jesus forevermore. Just as I picked out all the right colors and the right dress so my husband would look at me in awe when he first saw me on that special day, so are we to become more and more like Christ so we may shine his light to others until he returns.

In complete transparency, I struggled with the thought of Jesus coming soon. I wanted to be in Heaven with my creator giving him praise for all eternity…. BUT I was clinging to the fact that I felt so rejected most of my life until I met my husband, that I didn’t want to give that up. I was putting my husband before Jesus and that will only lead to disaster. Putting your worth and hope in your spouse, only leads to heartbreak and disappointment. It’s not because your spouse doesn’t love you or think highly of you, but they are just as human as you are and don’t know how to meet our needs in the way our loving Holy Father in Heaven always can. When you remember your identity in Christ and seek him to tell you how priceless and precious you are to him, then even on the bad days you know you are loved more than you can even fathom. It’s the love of Christ that keeps us going strong. We love Jesus, therefore we love one another. I have found joy in knowing that Jesus is coming soon and that until then I am blessed to be married to the man I love here on Earth “until death do we part.” Whether that be from old age or Christ’s return or any other reason, I am grateful and can say with peace in my soul, “Even so come, Lord Jesus come.” Adam was the first human to be created and was thrilled to have Eve as his helper. Now, we as Christ’s Bride wait on him to bring us back home. The final verses of the Holy Bible in the King James Version read:

He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. 
THE END
Revelation‬ ‭22‬:‭20‬-‭21‬ ‭KJV‬‬

And as a BONUS for reading this far, below is one of my favorite quotes that I feel represents us well and some pictures over the past 3 years proving it!

If you haven’t already, read the first part to this post inspired by my grandparents’ love story in comparison to the love story we are all a part of when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. To read that post click here: The Greatest Love Story